loneliness and the insomniac

well, now, aren't you glad to have me back, folks?? yeah, all NONE of ya! hah! i actually get a lot of action over on myspace, not that i'm bragging or anything(did i mention i'm an internet predator between writing sprees? yep, that's right, babycakes.....you don't even wanna know, trust me...)
actually, speaking of myspace....being a fan and avid user of The WRitten Word, i'm always glad to find a "blog" on somebody's myspace profile.....so, i click on the little linkie thingie, right? and BOOM....i'm faced with something that looks like this:
"this is my crappy excuse 4 a blog. it is two sentenses long and your the asshole cuz you actually thought i might have something 2 say." and probably a hundred people read the damn thing. seriously, you'll see something like "i'm sad and i ran out of booze" posted up there with seven replies on some profiles.....meanwhile, i'm begging folks "i KNOW somebody's been reading this....come on, fess up!" nothin--but still, they read.....i think i know why, too...
it's the sex. no lie, kiddies, sex sells. philosophically-diverse ramblings upon the existential-experiential Aloneness of Humanity; eh, not so much....see, if i were really astute, i could use "sex" subject-matter to get to the heart of the issue and cross the gulf which isolates us solitary-yet-several Islands of Man.....but would i be THAT subversive?? hah! guess it helps that i'm a sick and twisted human being and i can't but get freudian on ANY subject, be it history or higher math....gotta love sex, folks.....hey, i can say whatever the hell i want! shit, boys, i'm taken....married and the Commited Shmuck type.....i've done all sorts of weird and off-the-wall shit since tying the Knot, but cheatin aint among em....too much work....i've been accused of it plenty, though.....wanna know what really blows??
well, tough shit, if you don't. i'm smart, i like to talk, i'm charming(batting eyelashes), trustworthy, and genuinely curious about my "fellow man"....but for whatever reason, i tend to befriend males. maybe there's some deep roots back in my early childhood....who the hell knows.....it is the way it is.....all my friends are proud owners of their own handy-dandy penises.
i don't have that particular appendage, you see, which of course can "only mean one thing"....time for a little social-shunning, ladies and gents. monica is not a person you can be seen with and not get hit with a rocky mudball.....
now, i personally don't much care for the feelings of a bunch of PMS-addled uptight henpeckers and their repressed-agression-style manifestations of internal insecurities. however, these naysayers chase off far too many otherwise-personable young(well, maybe not exactly young, eh hem) people of the human persuasion.....(tee hee)especially because i tend to make friends with professors. do you KNOW the kinda WRONG shit that i've been put thru NOT by the male professors themselves but by these BUSYBODIES who have no right to interfere? it upsets me to the point of....of....damn, well, i'm not sleeping now, am i? yeah the list of excuses grows. but you wanna know who loses when gossip flies about a professor and a younger female student? obviously neither prof nor student end up winning, per se.....our boy gets embarassed, possibly slapped by the wife at home for imagined wrongdoings....cuts our girl off. meanwhile, here's what i'm dealin with: janitorial staff openly making sexual comments about me in the presence of "prof x" like i'm furniture, referring to me ALWAYS as "x's girlfriend". in fact, that's my name at this point to the auxiliary staff at the school i still must attend. the females treat me like a hussy; like dirt! i have literally been stepped on by these mean little women who pointedly behave as if i dont exist. these assholes are all supposedly "intelligent"--hell, they're employees of a state institution of higher education, and as far as i'm concerned, the last time i was treated so shabbily was backin junior high, when some genius took up writing bathroom-stall porn shorts starring yours truly....and at least then there was some 'evidence" (such as it was)....and ninth graders have an excuse. they're retarded adolescents. what's your excuses, folks??!! i'm serious. these people did all but run me outta school for the "crime" of being an A student who befriended her history teacher. nobody else even bothered to care about me as a person--i was all alone with no "support system"...and when finally my prayers were answered and somebody was willing to put in the extra effort and listen to me rant a bit--bam! instant witch trial. "quick, throw 'er in the water! see if she floats THAT BITCH!!"
grrr.....well, nuff social injustice rambling for the evening...it's five am so i suppose i oughtta be in bed Not Sleeping as usual.
love y'all, for without you i'm merely a scream in the proverbial bell-jar.